I’ve always been good at noticing patterns in my life.

One of the patterns I’ve noticed is that life works in cycles.

One day you’re on top of the world, the next you’re at the bottom of the ocean.

Peaks followed by troughs.

It always intrigued me.

I just turned 23 on Monday past and until I turned 22, these cycles or this “wave” of life controlled me.

I would never feel at the bottom of the ocean, but one day I would be on top of the world and the next I would feel back at ground level and the very, very odd time I would feel like I was testing the ocean waters only to be brought out under the waters surface by the current.

Maybe it’s the level of responsibility I’ve assumed for myself and the pressure that I put on myself at a relatively young age.

Maybe it’s because I grew up fast in many ways and slow in others.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I love the life I live and I love the man I am now and am becoming.

Cycles in every area of your life are inevitable.

Some weeks there’s no better part of your day than going to the gym, others you have to drag yourself there.

Some weeks you bounce out of bed ready to attack the work, others you crawl out of bed just to get it done.

You see, the world is always changing - nothing ever has, will, or can stay the same, and most people recognise this.

Most people understand that today and tomorrow will be different, that next month is entirely unpredictable, and that what you have now isn’t guaranteed.

Whether it’s your physique, your relationships, your wealth, your state of mind, or anything else - it can and will change.

But often, what we don’t realise is that changes in life are cyclical.

The sun rises each morning and sets each night, the leaves grow on the trees and then fall to the ground, one day you feel great and the next you feel okay.

This is exactly how I realised I could control - at least to some degree - the cycles of MY life.

The cycles of nature, of the world, have patterns.

The sun rises - the sky lights up with a burnt orange that fades up into a dark golden yellow and into the navy blue of the morning sky and over time, the sun rises to light up the entire sky.

The sun sets - the sun falls taking its light from the sky in a dark pastel orange fading into a blood red and then finally the black of night.

Simply by observing the sky, and the cyclical nature of the sun, you can recognise the pattern in this 1 area of life.

I realised my life is no different - and neither is yours.

The highs and lows aren’t accidents and they have patterns that you, if you’re willing to look hard enough for, can figure out.

And if you can figure out what the patterns are, you can consciously curate your life to incorporate the patterns of the high points in life and avoid the patterns of the low points in life.

This is something I realised right around this time last year - and I spent the whole of 2023 in almost a constant peak, and at the very least my worst days were so much better than my good days before.

Life isn’t out to get you.

But it also isn’t here to help you.

Life is neutral.

It’s there for the taking, but only, only if you’re willing to look for and implement the patterns that align with where you want to go in life.

 

Pattern Recognition

 

The key to building a life that you love is recognising patterns in your life and then consciously curating your life to either have or not have that specific pattern.

Which creates the question, how do you recognise patterns in your life?

There’s no easy way to do this - it takes introspection, conscious effort, and a want to do it.

If you don’t actually care about building a life you love, you won’t do this. Patterns are such an easy thing to miss or avoid because they’re all around us - so unless you’re fully committed to this process it won’t work.

In life, you have the macro - months/years/decades - and the micro - hours/days/weeks - for you to curate a life you love, you need to look for patterns in both of them.

Let’s start with the micro.

 

Micro Pattern Recognition

 

This technique is one I got from Dr. Andrew Huberman and it is gold.

 

Step 1. Get a journal

 

Yes, a journal.

You could do this on a laptop, but with things that matter and that you don’t want to rush, I’m always a fan of doing them on paper because of how it takes that bit more conscious thought, effort, and deliberate thinking to do.

 

Step 2. Look for 8/10’s.

 

Anytime you feel at or above an 8/10 (with 10 being maximum happiness and fulfillment), write down in your journal the time, the day, and the date as well as what you’re doing or what just happened to make you feel this way.

What you’re doing here is simply recognising when you feel good and why you feel good, of course, you could play about with the scale and note down anything at or above a 7/10, but I think 8/10 and above is a great baseline to aim for.

You need to do this consistently, and preferably every single time because doing this once won’t get you any results.

To recognise a pattern, you need data and the more data (in this case 8/10 and above entry points) you have, the more accurate your patterns will be and the more accurately you’ll be able to curate your reality.

An interesting side note here is that I can guarantee that what makes you feel at 8/10 or above likely won’t be what you think from the top of your mind.

It won’t be scrolling.

It won’t be drinking on a Saturday night.

It won’t be buying a pizza and binging Netflix.

This is mindless cheap dopamine, that by now you’ll know ruins your dopamine base levels and relationship with both dopamine and reality.

What will make you feel like an 8/10 and above will be fulfilling activities.

It will be spending time with those you care about.

It will be hard, challenging, and meaningful work.

It will be spending time in the sun.

It will be creating something.

It will be breaking a sweat.

It will be things that truly matter.

 

Step 3. Note down any time you’re below a 4/10

 

Any time you feel at or below a 4/10, note down in your journal the time, day, date, and what you’re doing or what just happened to make you feel like this.

This does the exact same thing as step 2, only this time you’re gathering data on what makes you feel bad so that you can recognise patterns and curate your reality without these things.

This can be trickier.

The things that make you feel bad can often be a necessity - a tough conversation for example, these shouldn’t be avoided and hence, this data point is almost irrelevant unless you’re having a tough conversation that makes you feel like a 2/10 with a certain person regularly - then something needs to change.

But often, you’ll find what makes you feel below a 4/10 will be scrolling mindlessly, not doing what you know you need to do, being around certain people, and the day after drinking.

Again, this needs to be done consistently and in fact, more intentionally than step 2.

Recognising (and then removing) what makes you feel bad, will be more impactful than recognising and including what makes you feel good as it’ll increase your overall base-level feeling of life.

 

Macro Pattern Recognition

 

When it comes to recognising patterns in the macro, it’s harder.

It requires more looking back on the past and comparing it to where you are now.

 

Step 1. Write down how you feel in general

 

So right now in life, how would you say you generally feel on a scale of 1-10?

Note this down, the month, the year, and what’s happening in your life.

What goals do you have?

Are you working toward them?

Are you avoiding any responsibilities, work, or problems?

Any big events or moments?

What’s your typical schedule?

What are your habits? How consistent are you with them?

What people do you see every day?

What work are you doing (in your job or business)?

What projects of your own are you working on?

What’s your exercise and nutrition like?

Are you spending much time outside?

You can add to this list and ask yourself about other areas, but for me, these are what will impact my general mood and well-being in the macro.

The idea here is to again, gather data.

You feel a certain way, and this is all that is happening in your life right now to make you feel that way.

 

Step 2. Do this monthly

 

Every month, repeat this process, asking yourself the same questions.

Since the macro is longer term, it’ll take more time to see the longer term patterns in your life and be able to make changes than the micro - but that’s okay.

After a few months - maybe 2 months, maybe 6, 12, or 24, you’ll be able to see the patterns of your life and how you feel based on the fluctuations of your answers.

Again, this might surprise you.

You’ll feel better with more voluntarily shouldered responsibility and goals.

You’ll feel better when you have projects of your own.

You’ll feel better when you train hard and eat right.

You’ll feel better when you’re spending more time with certain people.

You’ll feel better with a consistent schedule in your day-to-day life.

People run from responsibilities, work, and problems because of the fear of not being able to rise to the level necessary of them - not realising that it’s this shying away from what they know they need to do that eats them up from the inside, creates downward spirals and negatively impacts every area of their life.

A life that you love isn’t a life where you run from responsibility, work, and problems. It’s a life where you turn and face them, entering the arena.

If you want to build a life that you love, you need to rise to the challenge that is in front of you.

For you, that challenge might be what we’ve gone over so far - figuring out the patterns that dictate your life.

Because you can’t start to increase your baseline level of feeling without knowing what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad.

 

Curating a Life You Love 

 

Step 1. Start noting down patterns in your life

 

This is what we’ve just gone over.

Gather data over both the micro and the macro.

 

Step 2. Improve the micro

 

With gathering data over the micro, after 1 or 2 weeks you’ll have enough data points that you’ll be able to see the patterns of your day-to-day life.

You’ll be able to see what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad.

So, do what’s obvious, what’s staring you in the face - do more of what makes you feel good and less of what makes you feel bad.

If you feel good after exercising, exercise daily.

If you feel good after working on a certain project, work on that project daily.

If you feel bad after eating a certain food, stop eating that food.

If you feel bad when you’re with a certain person, stop spending time with that person.

This isn’t going to be easy.

Patterns are patterns for a reason, they’re a cycle that you’re repeating because you’ve carved a pathway in the ground like water creating a canyon.

It’ll require sacrifice.

Maybe you “don’t have time” to sweat every day or work on a certain project every day - well guess what…

You’re lying to yourself.

It’s not that you don’t have time, we all have time.

Every minute of your day will be allocated to something, so you have to consciously take time away from something that you don’t want to do and give it to something that you do want to do.

Plus, you’ll likely be able to hit 2 birds with 1 stone here.

If you feel bad after watching Netflix for 4 hours every night, spend 2 of those hours working on the project that makes you feel good.

Again, don’t expect this to be easy.

Because if you expect it to be easy, it’ll be harder than you think, but if you enter the arena expecting it to be hard, it’ll be easier than you think.

Look at the data, do more of what makes you feel good and less of what makes you feel bad.

And rise to the challenge, take on this responsibility of improving your damn life - because if you follow all these steps then the data is right in front of you, you’re telling yourself exactly what you need to do to live a better life and if you don’t do it, it’s on you.

It’s your fault.

You’re ignoring the responsibility of improving your damn life, of doing what you know you need to do.

 

Step 3. Improve the macro

 

After a few months of improving the micro whilst also recording data and figuring out patterns in the macro, your baseline feeling should already be much higher than when you started.

But, don’t negate the macro cycles of life just because the micro is going well.

Look at the macro, see what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad, and do the obvious.

Do more of what makes you feel good and less of what makes you feel bad.

Maybe you notice that every time you avoid problems in the macro you feel bad - then start facing problems as they arise, even when you don’t want to, especially when you don’t want to.

Maybe you notice that when you slip up with a certain habit you feel bad - then focus on making that habit consistent.

Maybe you notice that when you’re working on this certain project you feel good - then work on that damn project.

This whole process is rather intuitive.

You collect data in the micro and the macro.

You do more of what makes you feel good and less of what makes you feel bad, increasing your base level feeling and taking control of the cycles of life - or as much control as is humanly possible.

 

Optional Step 4: Build Infinite Leverage

 

If you work a 9-5 job, have a mortgage, family, and kids or however that picture of life looks for you - this process might be hard.

In fact, it’ll likely be much harder for you to do than for a 23-year-old entrepreneur like me.

But it’s not impossible.

It will take longer and it will require more sacrifices but you can still do it.

My recommendation would be to build something that gives you leverage, a business of your own.

That way over the next 6 months to 2 years you’ll be able to build a life that gives you the freedom in terms of time, location, and income to truly follow this data.

Because if you hate your job, you’re going to spend 8 hours a day feeling at 4/10 or less, yet it would be stupid and irresponsible to just leave it tomorrow.

So instead of spending a third of the rest of your short life doing something that you hate, that has no meaning to you, make sacrifices and work your damn ass off for the next 1-2 years to build something that lets you live life on your terms and that you find meaningful.

I’m a big proponent of the creator business model.

• Complete time and location freedom

• Massive leverage (I reach over 10 million people a month across my platforms - this will only grow.)

• It’s the ultimate vessel for self-improvement and becoming all you could be

• Anybody, and I mean anybody, can do it

If you want to learn more about the creator business model, you can read this past newsletter of mine by clicking here.

— Ross.

 

 

And when you’re ready, here’s how I can help you:

• Achieve Self-Mastery, unlock your true potential, and smash every goal you set with MasteryOS

• Join the waitlist for cohort 2 of Done In 4

• Learn how to build a multi-6-figure audience and business with Personal BrandBldr